Sunday, December 27, 2015

New Year, New Attitude

     The end of December always induces retrospection for me:
as I sit here and reflect on the past year, oh my goodness, a lot has happened.

     Looking back, I realized something: ever since I was 17 and the Marine proposed, my entire mindset has been about getting married and starting a family; every decision I've made has been based on what would be best for the relationship I was in, and I allowed relationships to limit my options and opportunities. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a traditional mindset, in 2016, my mindset is going to change slightly. I stumbled upon this quote, which has become a bit of an anthem for me:



     Due to my financial situation (debt and taking out loans scare me), I have decided to take a semester off and return home to Montana. While home, I am going to work as well as prepare to compete in the Miss Montana and (hopefully) Miss America 2017 Pageants. This is the first time I've made a decision to do something for myself with no thought of a man. My platform will have to do with breaking the silence that occurs after sexual assault and the stigmas victims deal with; I will share my experiences in hopes of helping others.
  
     I cannot express how excited I am to take on this new adventure with this new attitude. I know the following months will be difficult as I work to get in the best physical shape possible and continue to face my demons from the night I was raped, but if, along the way, I have the opportunity to help another, every ounce of sweat and every tear I shed will be worth it. Even if I don't win Miss Montana and I'm not able to reach as many people as I am hoping, even if what I have to say only makes a difference in the life of one person in the audience, I will be satisfied, because every life matters.

Wish me luck! 💕💄👠👑