Sunday, May 29, 2016

Miss Montana Musings

One week from right now, I'll be getting settled in for pageant week. As I began to make my daunting final to-do list before I start my adventure, I realized I needed to write down a couple of my thoughts. 

When people watch the Miss Montana/Miss America Pageant, all they see are gorgeous girls in pretty dresses competing for a title. They have no clue the amount of blood, sweat, and tears goes into the preparation for that one night; I certainly didn't. When I came home for Christmas break and decided, almost on a whim, "Hey, I should compete in Miss Montana next year! I'll make my platform something about rape culture and help raise awareness!" I had no clue how much work was ahead of me, how many nights, as I told and retold my story from the night I was raped and continued to face my demons, I would fall on my knees crying, asking God if I could really do this, and begging for strength. I didn't realize the amount of time I would need to devote to the pageant, from learning a piano piece, to toning up in the gym, to seeking sponsors, or getting the word out about my platform and what I stand for. If I didn't believe in sharing my message, if I didn't think continuing the dialogue about rape culture was so important, I never would have agreed to put this much time, effort, and energy into this. However, this has already been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I've pushed myself to my limits and came out on top, conquered fears I wasn't even aware I had, and I have already made connections with some truly remarkable ladies, as well as heard from fellow rape survivors who have thanked me for fighting for all of us. 


I want to thank all of my amazing sponsors: 


Doctor Mark Lies,
Trever Crain at Crain Chiropractic,
Steven Rowley, 
Whitney and Kelsi at Shears to You,
Sarah Maki at Lashes by Sarah,
Honda of Great Falls,
Jodi and crew at Dimitri's,
King Ag, 
Andy Taylor,
Kernaghan Inc


You guys are incredible and I couldn't have done this without your support! 


Speaking of support, I have the greatest group of people in my life anyone could hope for. I want to thank my parents for putting up with me and how the pageant has kind of ruled our lives for the last few months, Skyler for supporting me and being privy to almost every breakdown I had in the early months and always coming back with, "you can do this." Hunter for setting up the GoFundMe page to help me pay for everything, Derrick for hooking me up with my photographer, Anthony, Mike, and crew for being there these last couple weeks and taking me on adventures so that I didn't become ridiculously stressed out, Gordon for arranging that fundraiser, and everyone who has messaged me to say good luck and that they believe in me. It may have seemed like a little thing to you, but I have cherished and drawn strength from every kind word or message I've received, whether from an old friend or complete stranger.  No matter what happens on June 11, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of love and support I've felt, and I thank God for giving me this opportunity. 


While I'm sure this will be me during the interview portion of the pageant: 




And anyone who has ever seen me face-plant on a flat surface knows the high probability of this happening during swimsuit or evening gown: 



I'm excited for next week and all the adventures and friendships it will bring. I've worked long and hard to get here, and I'm ready to see what the Miss Montana pageant has in store for me. At the end of the day: 




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