Love is a Choice

Love. Such a beautiful and complicated four letter word. Like most girls, I want to find my Prince Charming and live happily ever after, and on my quest for that elusive fairytale ending, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about love. 

At the start of the year I was at a crossroads: I found myself being the recipient of two mens affection. Every girl’s dream, right? Wrong. I had to make a choice between the two and they could not have been more opposite. One was the charismatic Marine, a true “bad boy” who, while being a ton of fun, brought out the worst in me. The other was the sweet, respectable college rugby player at a Christian school who encouraged me to grow and improve, and who I knew would be good for me. While I was more physically attracted to the Marine, I liked how the rugby player treated me and gentle way he spoke to me, and in the end, that was one of the deciding factors for why I chose him. I knew I deserved to be treated like I was special, and not just the flavor of the week like the Marine treated me (in all fairness to him, he was a very good, dare I even say sweet, guy at his core, but was dealing with his own emotional issues because of a previous bad relationship that had taken more than just his heart from him). That was a crucial decision in my life because not only did I choose to date someone who encouraged me to grow, versus someone who required no personal growth, but in a society that endorses the notion of love at first sight, and romanticizes falling in love as if the person has no say at all, I learned that love is a choice.

My relationship with the rugby player didn’t last because we both wanted different things out of life, but I will always be grateful for that decision I made and the time I had with him because it was a time of tremendous growth for me. 

This summer has also been about growth. A week ago I celebrated being single for two months. Why was that a celebration? Because this is the longest I’ve been single since I was 16 years old. I’ve decided to give my heart a break this summer, work on my talents, and get to know myself better.

I’ve taken myself out to eat many times, hoarded that popcorn like a boss, and I’m not going to a museum with a date, so why the heck would I go by myself? haha. But in all seriousness, I’m taking this time for myself until I meet the man I can see myself marrying and building my own little kingdom with; then I will, once again, chose to love him. It’s an empowering feeling, to be in control of ones heart, and now that I’ve discovered that control, I don’t plan to relinquish it.